


Hostage

by warlock_female



Series: Batman Bingo 2020 [2]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Batfamily (DCU), M/M, Most batfam kids have horrible parents, NaNoWriMo, Teen for swearing only, batbingo 2020, my sad attempts at humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:28:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27735343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/warlock_female/pseuds/warlock_female
Summary: 4 times Riddler kidnapped a Robin and the time they kidnapped him. Not necessarily in order.
Relationships: Edward Nygma & the Bat Kids, Edward Nygma/Bruce Wayne
Series: Batman Bingo 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1697611
Comments: 14
Kudos: 63





	Hostage

**Author's Note:**

> Because Cluemaster is a horrible father and Riddler doesn’t seem like the type to like abusive fathers after his childhood was the original idea. And then got off track turning into the kinda crack rails of “My headcanon of Riddler doesn’t go out of his way to hurt kids and he doesn’t know who is in the Batfam.”

1.

“You know this would be a lot scarier if you hadn’t bought me that super large milkshake.” Edward looked through the rear view mirror at the teenager currently texting in his backseat. It wasn’t really a kidnapping. It was… a timed hostage until he could figure out just what to do with Stephanie Brown that wouldn’t involve her god awful parents getting her back.

If Arthur ever got out of jail Edward smugly reminded himself. The girls might have been annoyed at losing a comfortable bed that evening but had been overjoyed at the idea of getting Cluemaster behind bars after listening to Arthur’s idea for the next heist. Who thought bringing weapons near a teenager was a good idea? Who just waved off their drugged out wife who’d been taking care of a child alone for years?

 **Who** in the actual fuck decided to give over their daughter as insurance to a gunrunner?

Biggest riddle of the night had been why Arthur hadn’t seen Nina’s punch to the face.

“So are you tagging another wall or are we just gonna drive in circles?” Stephanie asked a lot calmer than most civilians Edward had spent time alone with. Enough evidence in itself that Arthur was a shot parent. Kids shouldn't be fine with being kidnapped by Batman's greatest foe.

“It’s not tagging, it’s setting up riddles so Batman’s pathetic brain will-”

“Yeah yeah whatever. Are we riddling again or driving in circles?” Edward’s reply was cut off by a thud on the car’s roof. “Oh Jesus. I HAD EVERYTHING COVERED!”

A pause while Edward debated trying to throw the intruder off of the car before green legs swung through Stephanie's opened window. Great, maybe Robin would grab the girl and Edward could finally get some sleep.

“I. Was. Fine!”

“You got kidnapped!”

“Can’t two people go for a drive in this town?”

Robin’s mask covered his eyebrows but Edward was pretty sure both raised as he opened up one of the bat’s communication devices. “Bats, I’m kidnapping the bastard’s daughter. Love and kisses.” Fuck. Edward really should have told Diedre what to write. The next pair of legs to kick into the car wasn’t even a surprise anymore. What was Edward’s life?

“Robin. Riddler. Blonde girl I don’t know.”

Nope

That was it. Edward pulled open his door and rolled out onto the street, ignoring the shouts from inside of the car. Kid could take care of herself after this.

2.

“Thank you Mr. Riddler for saving me.” Richard Grayson is going to be the death of somebody real soon. Large eyes, chubby cheeks, and currently kicking away at the desk Edward had placed him upon half an hour ago. A far cry from the frightened, shaking boy Edward had stumbled upon tied up alone in a warehouse. Amateurs deserved to lose their million dollar payment and Wayne needed to fret over the fact that his adopted son had the self defense of a drunk lemming. Look at him, acting like the Riddler was nice.

“If you tell the cops or Batman about this,” Edward made sure to deepen his voice into a threat. “I will find out.” The Grayson boy nodded over his triple scoop ice cream cone that the Riddler’d been pointing at as Edward tried to come up with the perfect riddle for the thousand dollar hostage letter Wayne would be getting later that night.

Later that night Batman came crashing through the window and Edward fled, figuring that the vigilante could take care of the sugar-caffeine rushed monkey the kid had become after dinner.

Three weeks later Robin cornered the Riddler at the museum, placing both hands on his tiny hips while Batman loomed above. “Richard Grayson said that you were really mean!” Well at least someone was taking Edward seriously.


End file.
